To love or fear: this is the question

"…anguish is unknowingly intensified and reinforced when we journey through it with fear and doubt as our guides. If we can learn to use the situation as a catalyst for facing up to and undoing fear rather than feeding it…we can unite in healing the underlying cause of all distress-which is fear it self. When the perception of fear falls away all that’s left is love. Love is the core of our true nature."

Nouk Sanchez and Tomas Vieria. authors of Take me to Truth.

When illness or similar events come knocking on your door, perhaps it is an invitation to view the circumstances differently. It is unhelpful when we become so overwhelmed with fear that we cannot see all the possibilities in a situation. If we are willing to move past our hurt, confusion and suffering, there is a different way to view our lives.

Sally Patton, in her wonderful book, Don’t fix me, I’m not broken describes how labelling illness can come to be a help, or a limitation to healing. She describes how labels can serve to bring services to a person in need. However, fear can arise if we begin to believe the limiting thought that this label is wholly true and that we are defective and in need of ‘fixing’. If we are tempted to view ourselves as passive and broken, rather than whole and wonderful, our suffering can intensify.

If we are able to see that our true nature is Loving Presence we can relax and be open to self awareness. Awakening to our true self is a natural aspect of the human experience. Everyone has the ability to be a loving presence when life appears to be calling out for a new experience.

A skilled art therapist such as Christine can assist us to take these shadows out of the depths of our mind and illuminate them with the wisdom of inner guidance. It’s funny to see how the monsters that might have haunted us all our lives appear to be frail and illusory when brought with kindness into the light of day. Clearly, when invited with the intention to heal, inner guidance emerges spontaneously to be our friend and guide. 

Working with guidance from spirit is a universal ability that everyone is able to draw upon. It is not a mystery or a talent only available to a select few. You and your loved ones can have full faith in your ability to know how your next steps might unfold. It is only the thought of fear that locks us in its tight embrace.

I have found that labelling illness is neither good nor bad. Choosing to include various healing methods such as acupuncture, yoga or psychotherapy can be just as valuable as a trip to your physician. It’s up to us whether we invest this decision with love and confidence, or doubt and fear.

Finding our inner authority

Remember the false self is false; it is non-existent, but by believing in it, we act as if it were real.

-Vernon Howard-

If we are to free ourselves from the need to place our power in the hands of others, we must first acknowledge that illness itself may be a sign that we have already given away part of our authentic self.

Dr. Michael Greenwood notes in his book, Braving the void: Journeys into healing that physicians are often taught that they must carefully consider the messages they convey to patients. Because of the enormous power that contemporary society places upon medical authority, both physician and patient becomes trapped by the limitations of these beliefs.

In healing my own misplaced beliefs about the collection of symptoms named Multiple Sclerosis, I learned that when I placed my power with an external authority, I became paralyzed with fear. My inner voice became more obscured than ever, and I felt terrorized by my ego’s frantic efforts to take control. I even contemplated suicide, so deep was my pain and torment.

Since then, I have learned that healing is a journey into the very heart and soul of what I believe is my self. Healing, or the descent within to reconnect with the lost self can be messy, painful and confusing.

For this reason, finding a group or person who will walk the journey with you is essential. It is not a journey for the fainthearted; sometimes only illness or threat of loss will bring us to the brink of looking for a new way to experience ourselves.  Whether it is your mom, family physician, massage therapist, neighbour or support group, create a team of loving people around your emerging self.

Whatever the method you become drawn to, check in with yourself along the way and see if it’s right for you. Be willing to let go of things you cling to, and notice ways you avoid or deny people, things or ideas. I have found these things only appear to be real, so forgive and release them. They are only obstacles to the awareness of Love’s presence.

Rediscovering your true self is worth it because, surprise! You are much more than you ever thought you’d be. Don’t take my word for it; that’s for you to find out for yourself.

When you find your own path towards the heart, you have turned a corner. There is no going back to your old, limited self. Yes, you are different now, never to be the same again. Give thanks for that!

Waking up in everyday life.

Love appears to us in unexpected ways. I was swimming at Crystal pool one morning and my inner teacher clearly said to me, ‘Let me love you in places you cannot love yourself’. 

Naturally I was taken by surprise, but I also felt strangely comforted. I have noticed that when my everyday, ego mind is distracted, my inner self delivers an unmistakably clear message to stop and pay attention. Art, yoga, swimming and taking exercise in nature can assist us to relax and drop into a deep sense of peace.

For example, although I do not particularly enjoy experiencing the symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis, it has given me an opportunity to slow down and pay attention to my inner world. My body is more keenly attuned to how I feel in all situations.

My habit has been to suppress my true voice and push my feelings deep down.  If I do that now, I often have the unpleasant sensation of stepping on an electrical cord. Discomfort is a sign that I need to slow down and take care of myself. My ruthless, controlling self is at it again!

In my social work practice, I coped with stress by telling myself a lot of untruths. My favourite was that I was doing ‘good’ in the world by helping to fix all its troubles. My ego-self was convinced that I knew how to bring an end to human suffering. No wonder I overwhelmed, tired and stressed! 

It has taken a lot of patience, courage and self-forgiveness, but I am constantly amazed at how listening to my inner voice saves me from a lot of unnecessary struggle. Every day is not easy, and I still have lots of opportunities to forgive myself, but miracles happen all around me when I stop trying to play god and do it by myself.

Now I am more able to wait until a situation unfolds and have confidence that I will be guided. I am learning to take a back seat to my misguided need to fix something that is not broken. This is a common way I project an idea into the world so I can temporarily feel useful and needed. Naturally this obscures the fact that I am already enough, and so is the person I think I am saving.

When I relax, the world seems friendlier and I find my ego’s antics hilarious. I don’t need a buzzer from my nervous system to alert me to my frantic fears and maladaptive ways of coping with them.

Love arrives in all its splendour to remind me of what I already know.

 

Suffering is optional

Today my body seemed to be telling me to step back and rest.

When I sat with the discomfort, I became aware of all the stories each symptom carries within it.

I realized that while hurt is sometimes inevitable as part of a disease, the stories we tell ourselves and others are not. In other words, suffering is optional.

While it may be useful to be able to describe the symptoms of illness, this can also serve to deepen these beliefs and stories. Once my neurologist had diagnosed my illness and helped me pinpoint why I had been feeling unwell, I intuitively knew that I wanted to be cautious about how I spoke about it.

I did not want the fear stories of others to fill my mind when I was trying to make sense of it myself. This kind of thinking only left me feeling as if I were buried up to my neck in sand with the tide coming in. It seemed that being ‘helpful’ only meant standing by and taking photographs while shouting well-meaning encouragement!

Why is it that we think fear is helpful and protects us in some way? And how can we be truly helpful when someone has been given a frightening diagnosis?

Being overly positive and optimistic obscures what the person needs to find out for them selves. It can be a way of hiding and seems to say, “I don’t think we know how to handle this, so let’s paint a happy picture instead”.

I have found that if we ask those around us to be patient, to resist the urge to ‘fix’, that illness has a message. Our deepest fears can emerge in the presence of patience and love. They are too timid to show themselves if there is too much noise and activity around them.

If we want to be truly helpful we must wait until the fear uncovers itself, revealing the miracle within. With patience we find our true identity, wanting and waiting to be discovered.

Terror only obscures this awareness and drives it deeper into hiding. If you want to be truly helpful, give up the need to soothe your own fears and be still. Stop ‘doing’ and start ‘being’. Leave the care of physical needs to those who feel called to do it and be confident that the ‘sick’ have wisdom inside that wants to be shared.

When those involved feel a deep peace with the presence of someone struggling with bodily issues, then healing is happening.  Let go of your need to control the outcome and ‘save’ them. It’s in the hands of a something much greater, so cease your helpful efforts.

Be grateful to witness the unfolding of something wonderful. 

Welcome

We are very happy to have an opportunity to share our thoughts and experiences of healing with you.

We would like to begin by clarifying that we welcome everyone, whether they practice a specific form of spirituality or not. As far as we are concerned, all paths are valid ways to awaken to our true Selves.

In our case, sickness and ‘death’ have awakened the desire to know ourselves and others more deeply. We noticed that facing these issues with love and support evokes wisdom that is far beyond the body’s ability to see and understand.

With this in mind, we ask you to look past terminology and alternate ways of seeing the world that you might find unusual. Forgive yourself for any tendency to judge something that might trigger your defences. Words like God, Jesus and Mohammed might be a balm to some, but invoke a strong reaction in others.

Marcy and Melanie are students of A Course In Miracles and although we consider ourselves practitioners of radical forgiveness, we actively embrace all expressions of love and desire for inner peace.

Our basic philosophy is as follows:

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the Peace of God.
(ACIM, 2007, Introduction)

Marcy and Melanie would like to acknowledge the incredible teachers that have inspired them along this journey.

Jewel (Julia Day), Nouk Sanchez, Tomas Vieira, Stacy Sully, Gary Renard, Sarah Pilkington, Donna Martin, Kenneth Wapnick, Adyashanti and their Mighty Companions who have helped them to see beyond the bodies eyes to the Truth of what lies beyond. Many, many thanks to our families and all our wonderful friends.