Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Utmost gentle affection

‘Know that you will fall asleep. When you do, wake yourself with the utmost, gentle affection…’

Yogi Amrit Desai

While making holiday preparations, I became aware of a persistent headache that seemed to interfere with my desire for peace and serenity. Instead of reaching for the medicine bottle I decided to sit with the tension and see if there was something I needed to acknowledge.

When I allowed myself to be honest about the pain, I realized that I was holding tightly to beliefs about the ‘special-ness’ of the holidays instead of just being present with the unfolding experience. I was glossing over some sadness about memories that were lost to the mists of time. Nevertheless, they still seemed to hold power below my conscious awareness and revealed themselves as an annoying headache.

I sat and asked my inner self what I needed to do to release the pain. I intuitively felt that deep breathing and thoughts of forgiveness of the past would help bring balance to the unconscious hurt. After a short time of doing this, I saw that my present life circumstances and the people around me were the perfect balm for healing this old belief.

As I breathed, I stopped feeling resentment that the present did not meet up to some outworn, idealized belief. I forgave myself for believing these old thoughts had any power over me. I was shown that it is only old thoughts, feelings and memories that appear to manifest as sickness or tension in the body. Only unacknowledged, unforgiven thoughts can seem to cause us pain.

Be willing to sit patiently with the discomfort. Watch the ego wiggle and squirm as it is witnessed; its peevish ways revealed to the light of day. Have compassion for any parts of your self that appear alone, separate or misplaced in time and space. Witnessing with Loving Presence will bring greater awareness of how to proceed from the heart, leaving outdated ideas in the dust.

Our task is to treat ourselves with supreme gentleness and be willing to let these seeming hurts float to the surface. We can then pull them from the waters of our unconscious mind and quietly blow the breath of new life back into them. Sudden harsh movements, such as criticism or judgement, will cause them to slip away again until the next healing opportunity arises.
Falling asleep is inevitable; waking up is unavoidable. Therefore be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with utmost gentle affection….