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Our explorations using the
felt sense as a guide to self-awareness have shown us the value of ‘hanging in’
when we are in physical and emotional discomfort. As Pema Chodron advises, we
are learning to “perk up and lean in” rather than run, hide, or create a new story.
Sometimes we are not all
that successful, and we uncover our disappointment just under the surface. We
are frustrated that we missed it again, were seduced by a familiar story; got
lost in its allure. We don’t like this person, or are disappointed that we sold
out in that situation. We missed a chance to stay true to ourselves…AGAIN!
When we find ourselves
expressing this kind of disappointment, it’s helpful to remember that all we
have to do is hang out and observe what is happening. We stay present with it.
We may not like it but we don’t let ourselves be hooked for another ride on the
merry-go-round. We are patient and resist the urge to repeat the usual response.
We can notice how we have felt
compelled to deal with it. We don’t try and dress it up and fix it somehow.
Sometimes the feelings that arise are very powerful and uncomfortable. If we
just sit tight they unravel right before our eyes. No magic, no fuss, just
patience.
If we can make this kind of
response our default strategy we can find our peace much more quickly. Hanging
out with discomfort isn’t always fun, but eventually it gets tired of the game
and moves on. From here we can hang out in a place of relief and insight. We
see the drama more clearly when we are not hooked into it.
Sometimes it takes a few
days and we may need a trusted friend to help us make sure we are not just wallowing
aimlessly in the feeling. Rather, we are sitting patiently, neutrally, trusting
it will unfold. Certainly this is an opportunity to forgive ourselves for
getting lost once again. We can choose peace instead of this.
We can stay alert and ‘lean in’
by being curious. We resist the urge to develop strategies to ‘deal with it’
into the mix. Insights and strategies will unfold all by themselves,
effortlessly and clearly. We just have to get out of our own way.