Relinquishing the False Self

"The false-self is made up of millions of unrecognized judgments, beliefs, values and opinions; all from the past. Not one of these is true and none of them make up who we are; instead, they fabricate who we are not. The truth of 'who' we are, stands entirely free of any of these. In fact, we will not know who we are until these erroneous shreds of identity have been seen and willingly released. We won't know the truth of who we are, until we're willing to look within and systematically exhume and relinquish everything that we are not."

'The End of Death' by Nouk Sanchez. www.undoing-the-ego.org/articles.html

How do we stand in the Truth and release our ‘erroneous shreds of identity’ so that they can be ‘seen and willingly released?’ At the Light Tree we have been working diligently to let go of the false self and release ‘everything that we are not’ so that we free ourselves from self-limiting beliefs. This has led us to some incredibly rich discussions as we learn to view the events in our lives in a new light.

One thing is certain; our tool of transformation is forgiveness. It is helpful to witness our delusions with compassion. However, this does not mean that we wallow in self-pity or use excuses to give them false power. We stand firm in saying that they are not welcome to masquerade as meaningful parts of our lives any longer.

We have noticed that It is helpful to engage with the false images as they arise with complete non-judgment and mindful intention. If we can sit and witness these illusory aspects of self using our felt sense we can more easily forgive and release them. Yes, we agree it’s a practice that takes a great deal of dedication and commitment. There is no doubt that life presents us with myriad opportunities to try this for ourselves!

Julia recently described how bringing awareness to previously held beliefs that seemed locked in her arm revealed even deeper layers of growth and expansion. What may have been a problematic physical condition was rapidly transformed by bringing mindful, compassionate awareness to it:

“Thank you Mighty Companions for holding space for me while I explored my arm some more... afterwards it was amazing ... not a hint of fatigue, nothing, just immense Awareness in place of suffering…by allowing the witnessing to occur the whole thing was healed”. 

Time after time we are shown the value of bringing rigorous honesty to our stories and dissolving self-limiting beliefs. We are certain that surrendering of all of what we believe ourselves to be leads us to spiritual awakening. We have been shown repeatedly that it is only identification with our F.E.A.R (False Evidence Appearing Real) that leads us away from the eternal peace that is our true nature.

The Ground of Daily Life

“There is always a tension to living in a physical body. Our mind and spirit are often at odds with each other and we struggle to balance their desires. The spirit within us has faith that our needs will always be met, but our mind perceives that there is not enough to go around. Our spirit inherently understands that we are all one with other people and the universe, but our minds find this difficult to maintain….

It takes a real leap in our spiritual evolution to see ourselves as one with humanity and to act in accordance with that insight.”

Carolyn Myss,

Invisible Acts of Power: Channeling Grace in Your Everyday Life  (2004).

In a recent conversation with Julia Day, the Light Tree group joined with other Mighty Companions to explore the experience of being ‘grounded’ more fully. We wanted to share ways we retain our ability stay joined with the flow of Universal Oneness when we are tempted to lose our sense of connectedness with Spirit in everyday life.

It was clear from our discussion that grounding is an experience that emerges from the heart. This is easy to accomplish while resting in deep peace and calling upon gratitude while joining with the cosmic heart, or as some call it, the Heart of the Earth.

This illustration by Christine shows how important it is to sink as deeply into the earth as possible when allowing the energies of cosmic love to flow through the physical and light bodies during meditation.

One of the simplest ways to feel grounded is to join with trees and moist earth and feel our roots sinking deep into the soil. We are reminded to be unlimited in feeling how far we can drop into the earth, or how high we can rise into the sky above us. As we surrender to the guidance that Spirit offers us, stories of fear and self-limitation may appear to emerge. This is an excellent opportunity to forgive and release them. These are simply the obstacles to the awareness of Love’s presence coming to the surface for healing.

Being grounded simply means that we rest in our true self and expand ourselves into the Oneness of all-that-is. When we surrender all our stories and accept our true nature we can easily trust that there is nothing to defend ourselves against. We become fully immersed in the Universal Love that we inherently embody by sinking ever more deeply into this truth.

The Perfect Self

“We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but loving an imperfect person perfectly”

Anonymous

image courtesy of facebook

A common theme in our discussions at The Light Tree is wondering why we spend so much of our time and energy projecting our unmet needs and uncomfortable feelings onto others. It’s as if by blaming or finding fault outside ourselves, we distance ourselves from hurt and find some kind of temporary relief.

Before we know it, the sick feeling comes around again. Instead of pushing it away and imagining it’s the fault of someone ‘out there’ why don’t we spend a bit more time getting to know it? After all, it shows up often enough. Everyone has feelings of fear, anger, hurt, loneliness and betrayal they just want to get rid of so they can be happy and return to peace. Its not a secret.

Quite often we are ashamed of these feelings because we judge ourselves harshly for having them in the first place. Until then, our bodies are like pyjamas we sleep in until we start to awaken from our dreams and illusions. What we resist persists, so pushing them far away, onto others or situations we don’t like just make them hang around even longer. 

For example, if we have uneasy sensations when we spend time alone, we might sit with the feeling, instead of finding something ‘to do’. Keeping busy just makes us avoid the situation even longer, only to return another day. We have found that deep feelings of dissatisfaction stem from judgements about what appears within our realm of experience. If we are honest with ourselves we are holding all sorts of grievances about some of the people and events that show up around us. Deep looking reveals they are all projections of our mind that arise to distract us.

 
When we take time to sit, many of our grievances expose themselves. It can be helpful to forgive them and let them go. “Let all my grievances be transformed into miracles” is a great way to bless them on their way out. It is likely that we have been listening to our ego and its eternal list of complaints, instead of resting in our True Self and trusting that what we need comes to us.

We can be sure that our ego is losing its grip is when we stop wanting advice and feedback from others. We don’t want to be taught. We don’t want our bullshit complaints to be validated. This only gives them permission to stick around for another ride. Rather, we can sit and honestly and ask Spirit, our true self, to show us what we need to know. It’s great to share our insights, but not so that they can be judged to be especially good, or especially bad. Just the practice of going to our own pure inner guidance whenever we feel a disturbance is all we need to do.

“My disciples learn to look upon all that happens with an open heart and an open mind. They grow increasingly willing to surrender their narrow beliefs and prejudices.

They refrain from condemning themselves or others for the mistakes they make, but try to learn from these mistakes so that they will not repeat them.

My disciples grow more respectful and intimate in their relationship with God every day. They learn to let the indwelling God lead the way in their lives. Thinking of me and attending to my example helps them do this.”

Jesus: Love Without Conditions (Paul Ferrini, 2009)

Our practice at The Light Tree has enabled us to reflect upon what it means to be guided by Spirit in our everyday lives. We strive to take the experiences that appear before us and see them as opportunities to deepen our understanding of love. Sometimes we stumble and find ourselves treating outward events as if they were real in themselves, as opposed to opportunities for healing.

When we notice this happening we stop and notice the bodily sensations that accompany the event. The felt sense immediately brings clarity to the situation. We become curious about what is unfolding and let go of trying to make sense of it ourselves.

We call upon Spirit to show us the true meaning of events and guide us about how to proceed next. The pace of this process may seem slow because we have less of an automatic, defensive response to everything that appears before us. Insights might take milliseconds or weeks to unfold, but they always seem to reveal themselves at the perfect time.

This week we described what we noticed when we are ‘grounded’ in our True Self. We agreed that a sensation of being grounded makes being in the present moment very easy. Our mind is not racing about and trying to make up stories about what it perceives around it. We are relaxed and energized. Our attitude is open and receptive to guidance from Spirit because we are willing to learn new ways of acting and reacting to the world around us.

Being grounded in our True Self means that we are resting in our Soul body and trusting its wisdom. We are not hooked into making events in the world seem real and threatening. We only want to rest in the Peace of God which dwells within us and guides our every move. We are Whole, safe and fully protected by the projections and fears dreamed up by our minds.

We are reminded of the Buddha who saw the arrows that rained down upon him as harmless flowers. We know the world is not perfect, but with time and patience we are learning to step back and perceive it perfectly.

Leaning in

“Feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we're holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we'd rather collapse and back away. They're like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we're stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it's with us wherever we are.”

Pema Chodron


www.opentothelight.com

Our explorations using the felt sense as a guide to self-awareness have shown us the value of ‘hanging in’ when we are in physical and emotional discomfort. As Pema Chodron advises, we are learning to “perk up and lean in” rather than run, hide, or create a new story.

Sometimes we are not all that successful, and we uncover our disappointment just under the surface. We are frustrated that we missed it again, were seduced by a familiar story; got lost in its allure. We don’t like this person, or are disappointed that we sold out in that situation. We missed a chance to stay true to ourselves…AGAIN!

When we find ourselves expressing this kind of disappointment, it’s helpful to remember that all we have to do is hang out and observe what is happening. We stay present with it. We may not like it but we don’t let ourselves be hooked for another ride on the merry-go-round. We are patient and resist the urge to repeat the usual response. 

We can notice how we have felt compelled to deal with it. We don’t try and dress it up and fix it somehow. Sometimes the feelings that arise are very powerful and uncomfortable. If we just sit tight they unravel right before our eyes. No magic, no fuss, just patience.

If we can make this kind of response our default strategy we can find our peace much more quickly. Hanging out with discomfort isn’t always fun, but eventually it gets tired of the game and moves on. From here we can hang out in a place of relief and insight. We see the drama more clearly when we are not hooked into it.

Sometimes it takes a few days and we may need a trusted friend to help us make sure we are not just wallowing aimlessly in the feeling. Rather, we are sitting patiently, neutrally, trusting it will unfold. Certainly this is an opportunity to forgive ourselves for getting lost once again. We can choose peace instead of this.

We can stay alert and ‘lean in’ by being curious. We resist the urge to develop strategies to ‘deal with it’ into the mix. Insights and strategies will unfold all by themselves, effortlessly and clearly. We just have to get out of our own way.

The Diamond in Your Pocket

“However your daily life presents itself, whether it is a life devoted to monastic duties or a life in the midst of the world, every moment is an opportunity to realize who you are. True investigation reveals that whatever prior limitations you feel keep you from who you are, however grand or lowly, they are nothing but concepts, concepts that when not maintained by mind activity cannot cause suffering. These concepts can be liberated so that you, as you are, can shine fully. This is the invitation extended to you”.

Gangaji  www.gangaji.org

At The Light Tree we are continually learning and practicing how to be more present with the essence of our True Selves. Our journey together has brought us to the teachings of various practitioners. Apart from our weekly meditation group with Jewel, we continue to meet regularly. Christine and Marcy recently journeyed to New Mexico to join Nouk Sanchez and Stacy Sully in retreat. Now it is Annie’s turn to go away for a few weeks. Before leaving, she wanted to share this passage from Gangaji, one of our favourites.

In this passage from The Diamond in Your Pocket, Gangaji writes about the distrust we have of love…..

"But love is not a person. Love is the individual, collective, and universal soul. Love is God. Love is truth, Love is beauty. Love is peace. Love is self. To know your self, to surrender to the truth of yourself, is to surrender to love. …..

What is the worst that could happen if you surrender to love? What we seem to fear the most is the broken heart. Yet the very unwillingness for the heart to be broken is the broken heart. The tragedy and the irony is that in order to avoid a broken heart, people live in a state of broken-heartedness. In the willingness to have the heart be broken a million, trillion, zillion times, true love is revealed.

Let the whole world break your heart every instant of the remainder of your life. Then this life can be lived in service to love. It does not mean you stay in abusive relationships. It means only to stay true to that which is always true to you, and that is love. Anything else is a story...

The great good news is that love is free and it has not gone anywhere. In all of these aeons that you have been hiding from love, love is still here, it is still open, it is still waiting for your commitment, still waiting for you to say, "Yes, I give my life to the truth of love. I vow to let love live this life as it will, for better or worse, for richer or poorer."

 With love, Annie

The Rainbow Bridge

“Many sense the fact that all Souls are part of the one human Soul, but this fact is not yet generally recognized and accepted. This causes certain segments of the human race to feel superior to others and hold unreasonable prejudices. There has been a lot of talk about brotherhood but very little practice of the concept as yet. Ultimately… individuals will know their fundamental brotherhood as Souls and act from knowledge, rather than belief”.

The Rainbow Bridge (1982).

Trying to go in www.opentothelight.com

Our discussions at The Light Tree have revolved around our awareness that the journey of the heart leads us to a deeper awakening of ourselves as aspects of One Whole. We have been using our felt sense to become aware of how fear becomes lodged in our bodies and can distract us from experiencing the deep peace of our true nature.

It is helpful to become aware of these bodily sensations and sit patiently with the message they hold for us. Because the feelings we are engaging are very often uncomfortable to experience, we have been asking ourselves, “What’s wrong with suffering? The reason we do this stems from the realization that we are so terrified of what we might find, or the sensations that arise, that we frantically push the feeling away before we begin.

We can ask ourselves, (or have someone ask us) “What is the wound I am trying to escape experiencing?” We can also be curious about the strategies we use for this escape. If we can recognize these sensations and not yield to the impulse change them, it is possible that they have a clear message for us.

Direct experience has shown us that if we can hold space for the felt sense to show us the message below our discomfort, it dissolves into nothingness. In reality we are simply innocent; guiltless and without need to prove our worthiness to anyone. Accepting this level of inner peace is so delicious that we resist it like crazy. It can’t really be true! Can it?  

At some level we can accept the idea that there is something fundamentally wrong with us and we are in dire need of fixing, but not our own clear, sweet, divine nature. This is the real blasphemy. To reject the truth of who we are is to postpone the healing of our hearts and minds. We stay blind to the One-ness and continue dabbling with smallness and separation.

We can employ kenosis and be willing to let things come and go without grabbing on. We do not cling, or resist. We accept things as they are without judging and trying to rationalize or make sense of them according to our narrow view. When we meet the belief head on we realize we have spent our whole lives trying to avoid suffering. If we can hold the space open (even for a brief moment) without judging what arises we can be supremely confident that everything is ok just the way it is…..